7 WAYS TO MAXIMISE YOUR SINGLENESS
Valentine’s just passed and for most this a time we remember the love shared between couples, significant others or family.
I know for the single person; this can be one of two things.
1. Gosh, when will secure a significant relationship?
2. I’m good. I’m independent and loving it.
Whichever category you fall in, there can be times of loneliness and the need to be with someone special. Someone you can show affectionate love and care.
Personally, I found myself in these two categories on most occasions. I’m either binge watching romantic movies wondering when my potential guy will show up.
On other occasions, Valentine’s day just passes by like any other day because I’m content with the fact that when it happens, it will something special.
I’ve read and listened to people talk on singleness – why some are stuck in it and from another perspective of how this is the best time to use it to serve others, learn more about yourself and enjoy everyday life like everyone else.
The word single means to be only one in number or solitary. The thesaurus definition has several to name a few; original, special, individual, specific and simple.
This shows that a person of the single nature is whole and original.
I once came across a message that wrote, two people coming together in a healthy relationship are 2 WHOLE SELFS coming together to become one.
This to show that you are not half of yourself before you find someone, but you’re completely (whole) one with self whether you find someone or not.
With this in mind, I wanted to share with you 7 ways you can expand and maximise your singleness.
With seven being a number of completion/perfections, linked here, I find this to be a perfect fit for the post.
1. IT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU TO BE ALONE
We’re built for community.
Being single doesn’t have to mean you isolate or seclude yourself. It means that you surround yourself with loving friends and family who encourage, empower and celebrate you on your journey.
Find ways to volunteer, contribute and give back to your community. It’s those small commitments of deciding to serve others that you’ll find fulfilment and find beauty in your singleness.
Side note; it’s also in community that you can find meet someone that can become special.
2. TAKE TIME TO KNOW YOURSELF
There’s a quote by Socrates that states “Know thyself.”
J. Taylor puts it this way – “Knowing yourself is about understanding your core values, priorities and dreams. It is about listening to a deeper calling and wisdom, whilst following your heart."
By doing this, you become more aware of your strengths, what makes you happy and the insecurities that are most likely to pop up when opportunities come your way or enter a new relationship.
You can also avoid falling into the same mistakes, whether in your finances, career and relationships because you understand your weaknesses and are more aware of that.
3. FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH IN LIFE
What ideas have you had that you never pursued?
How can you use your gifts and talents to make a difference in your community and the world?
I recently came across a message by Dr.Myles Moore talking about the difference between a job and calling.
"He states that we need to figure out our life’s work, that God put inside us"- Dr. Myles Monroe
If you were look back at your younger self, where dreams wouldn’t be determined by finances or our current circumstances, what would you be?
Who & what would you become?
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. Genesis 2:15
4. RECOGNISE YOUR DISTRACTIONS
It's easy to get use most of your single years mindlessly indulging in things that stop our growth and development.
It could be a habit, to finish work, get on your sofa and binge watch Netflix until bedtime. Maybe you find yourself constantly scrolling on Youtube or Instagram (I’m definitely guilty of this.)
Distractions can come in many forms and can sometimes look like productivity. But by the end of the day, you realise you didn’t complete your most important goals.
I recommend reading Make time to learn practical ways of making the most of your spare time to pursue your passions.
5. SCHEDULE IN DATE TIMES
A few of my single friends have been implementing this in their regular routine.
It is normal to go out to a restaurant by yourself, watch a movie in the cinema, take long walks or even picnic and read by yourself.
Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel loved and special. By scheduling in time for yourself, you give yourself permission to be kind and loving to others.
What would your ideal date look like?
Once you’ve figured it out, find a way you can schedule in time to do this.
6. WRITE & ACT ON YOUR GOALS
Maybe you’ve wanted to write a book, start a blog, form a team of like-minded people to create something or start a business.
Write them down and figure out a strategy of how you’ll accomplish it.
For me, it’s about becoming financially free and independent. The main reason for this is to help my parents retire well but also contribute to good causes I'm passionate about.
A current goal is save up a full emergency fund and six months worth of expenses.
Financial experts such as Dave Ramsey explain the 7 steps to financial freedom, linked here.
7. WE’RE FULFILLED WHEN WE HELP OTHERS
You have the beauty of your singleness to help others in incredible ways. You have the time and resource (your gifts and talents) to lend a helping people around you.
Do you know of a friend who could benefits from receiving encouraging words and support from you?
Is there a family you can offer to babysit their children so they can have some special time together? (Of course, it might be difficult during a pandemic but there’s so many creative ways you can help people in need.)
Buy grocery items and drop them at their door
Offer to help serve food to the homeless
Mentor someone younger than you in your skill or craft
Donate weekly or monthly to a charity. This could money, clothes or even your time.
Lots of love,
Annette
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